Other cyclists

moron

Like this dickhead, but in bright yellow.

Well, ok, not all other cyclists but definitely some of them … actually, it’s really just this one guy. You see, I cycle to work, the pub, my friend’s houses and pretty much everywhere else in-between because I don’t have a car. Not because I can’t drive, I might add, and nor do I wish to maintain a low carbon footprint whilst ethically transporting my fat ass all over the place, saving the planet through calf tattoos and ironic hair, no, but because I can’t be bothered spending the money on one at the moment. I live in a city, they’re expensive, there’s no point.

Anyway, I cycle. I’m a cyclist. It is a thing that I do daily and in intermittent fear for my life because, well, cars. Which, I have to say, I get. The frustration of sitting in traffic, of being stuck behind a big fella like me as I slog up a hill during rush hour is understandable and sometime that makes you drive like a prick. Understandable. Could you sometimes consider the fact that you’re almost killing me in a race to a red light yards away that won’t change for another minute and, you know, not do that, sure. But I get it, I do.

What I don’t get, is this guy. This guy in his high-viz vest – because blistering thirty degree sunshine reduces visibility apparently – with his helmet camera, his billion reflective strips and enough assorted other pieces of safety gear for a peloton of riders. What I don’t get is this guy, why Captain Road Safety himself in his look at me, I’m all responsible and safe ‘n’ shit paraphernalia, why he just sails past me at a red light and straight across a junction. Not just a normal junction though. No, a decent, sensible junction where the lights are phased so that if you wait for the green, like a normal person, by the time you get to the second more dangerous junction, those lights turn green as you get there and you’re on the way. It’s like someone thought that shit out.

I pondered what the fuck as I sat at the lights and watched him bimble across the junction, trundle up to the second set of lights and stop all of two hundred yards away. I mean, is he trying to be safe or does he want to ride like an ass? Are all the flashing lights and shit just to ensure the maximum number of people see him while he’s you’re being a dick? He’s clearly not in a rush because he’s bimbling and if that’s the case, then why jump the lights? He’s got nowhere. Though he has made the bus driver behind me a bit annoyed, first by getting in the way and then by jumping the lights. So that’s good. Another road user fucked off at someone on a bike because that’s just what we need.

So what, what is it? Because I don’t get it, I really don’t. I was going to ask the guy but, frankly, who’s got time for that? It’s not like some bearded dude in lycra’s going to change his attitudes to being a tit and, let’s face it, he’s going to get his dumb ass knocked off sooner or later and that’ll solve that. Still, Jesus Christ, man. What are you doing?

SCCM 2012 Dropbox detection script

Because I’m super fun now, things like this seem important to me. Want to detect an application installed per user rather than per machine in SCCM 2012? Annoyed that Chrome and Dropbox are tricksy little bastards that hide away in c:\users\%username%\appdata\some godawful location? Well be annoyed no more because you can create a device collection with a query like this to detect them.

Dropbox.

select SMS_R_SYSTEM.ResourceID,SMS_R_SYSTEM.ResourceType,SMS_R_SYSTEM.Name,SMS_R_SYSTEM.SMSUniqueIdentifier,SMS_R_SYSTEM.ResourceDomainORWorkgroup,SMS_R_SYSTEM.Client from SMS_R_System inner join SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile on SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile.ResourceID = SMS_R_System.ResourceId where SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile.FilePath like "c:\\users\\%roaming%" AND SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile.FileName like "%dropbox%.exe%"

Chrome

select SMS_R_SYSTEM.ResourceID,SMS_R_SYSTEM.ResourceType,SMS_R_SYSTEM.Name,SMS_R_SYSTEM.SMSUniqueIdentifier,SMS_R_SYSTEM.ResourceDomainORWorkgroup,SMS_R_SYSTEM.Client from SMS_R_System inner join SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile on SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile.ResourceID = SMS_R_System.ResourceId where SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile.FilePath like "c:\\users\\%appdata%" AND SMS_G_System_SoftwareFile.FileName like "%chrome%.exe%"

Edit the bits in red to be whatever combination of file path and filename you’re after and boom, a collection of machines that fit the criteria. I’ve been deliberately vague here with all the %s but you could be as specific and refined as you like. I’m sure there’re better ways of getting this done, too, but this worked for me.

Exciting stuff.

Responsible

Regrettably, I seem to be becoming a serious-ish adult.

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At least, I think that’s what it is.

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Because the alternative is too unappealing to consider.

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All I know is that I’ve started thinking about things before I do them.

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And considering consequences.

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And – ugh – planning for the future.

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Does that sound adult-y?

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It feels adult-y.

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And I know it sure as hell is killing off some of the things I used to enjoy.

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Not because I don’t enjoy them any more.

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But because the time keeps being spent doing sensible stuff.

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Like cleaning.

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Or looking at houses.

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Instead of drinking.

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And cycling down mountains.

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I mean, that still happens.

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But sometimes it doesn’t because I’m at work.

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Or decorating.

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Decorating.

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I don’t even.

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And I use a calendar now.

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Not to mention a diary.

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Because I have things I need to keep organised.

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I never used to have things I needed to keep organised.

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Or things, I suppose.

Cramp

That’s what cycling up this bloody Welsh pass gave me.

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I’d like to blame the weather for the lack of cycling I’ve done this year.

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Hence the lack of physical fitness.

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But I think it’s more likely down to the fact that I’m a fat lad.

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And some things never change.

 

Photo time

Back before work began taking over my life, I used to have lots of free time to spend bimbling about taking photographs, being odd and getting chased away from intriguing derelict buildings by security guards.

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Well, I think I’m finally getting back to a point where I can do that again.

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More or less.

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I mean, it’s not perfect.

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I get email alerts and shit all the time.

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Which I can ignore, I guess.

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It’s just often better to fix stuff before people notice and start complaining.

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Because man am I intolerant.

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Especially when everything’s going wrong.

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It’s about the third worst time to speak to me.

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Not that there’s an especially good time, I admit.

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But it’s one of the worst.