I hide it well

The Classic IQ Test
James, your IQ score is 135
You are a Word Warrior

James, your IQ score is significantly above average. Congratulations! You have a wide range of exceptional skills which are much stronger than those of the average population. You are also skilled at answering the types of questions that are asked in a classic IQ test. The test analyses your strengths and weaknesses based on your mathematical, linguistic, visual-spatial and logical skills. Even though you have high scores in all of those areas, we are able to analyse your results to discover the areas in which you have the strongest abilities.

You are equipped with a verbal arsenal that enables you to understand complex issues and communicate on a particularly high level. These talents make you a Word Warrior.

Whether or not you recognise it, your vocabulary is your strongest suit — use it whenever you can. Since your command of words is so great, you are also a terrific communicator — able to articulate big ideas to just about anyone. Your wordsmithing prowess will also help in artistic and creative pursuits. The power of words translates to fresh ideas off paper too. Since you have so many words at your disposal, you are in a unique position to describe things in an original way, as well as see the future in your mind’s eye. In short, your strengths allow you to be a visionary — able to extrapolate and come up with a multitude of fresh ideas.

Have you ever read such bollocks? I know that IQ tests essentially just assess how good you are at doing tests but you’d expect some modicum of relevance. This is just tosh isn’t it? I’m as much a visionary as eating biscuits is the secret of eternal youth. I mean, if I was that clever I’d be able to write something interesting now wouldn’t I?

As it is I’ve found something interesting instead. Actually, I suppose it’s more fun than interesting. No matter, if you’ve ever wanted to shoot a man full of arrows now you can. The wonder that is Bow man will sate your desire for fletched death though I’d caution you against playing it at work. Your productivity will be ruined. The horror!

Seems a bit of a waste of my day off really. I could be out and about doing things and instead I’m doing my ironing and playing about on the internet because I don’t want to do my ironing.

Why are shirts so hard to iron?