nunoncastors

I am an obsessive freak when it comes to books and CD’s. I alphabetise them and store them away neatly on shelves. I do not damage them or write in them, I abhor damaging books. It makes me angry to even think that people may burn them or throw them away. People like that go on THE LIST. Everything has its place and I cannot bear other people moving stuff about. I can tell almost instantly when they do. I do not lend them to anyone. Ever.

But when my mate Duncan was burgled I felt sorry for him and relented. I lent him a book, one of my favourites, Catch-22.

He has damaged it.

I will never trust again.

I’ve been having a hard time paying for things since the 14th. I hand over my cash card as usual and wait expectantly. The thing is, instead of the usual swipe-sign-and-away routine to which I’ve become accustomed I’m greeted by blank, uncomprehending stares.

Now it could just be my memory or it could be that I’ve fallen asleep like Rip Van Winkle and awoken in another time but I’m fairly sure that just last week my cash card, without it’s chip and pin, was the usual way you’d pay for something. In fact it was.

Now when I present my card, the same card, I feel as though I’m handing over a lump of moon rock or a tiny tentacled beast. “It doesn’t have a chip” they say incredulously. This is followed by a lot of head scratching and speaking with supervisors.

IT IS ONLY A CASH CARD. PLEASE TAKE MY MONEY.

“Do you have any cash?”

ARGH!

At least he’d better because childish hope springs eternal and I want at least ONE MILLION Valentines cards by the time I get home. If not, my cynicism will increase tenfold and infinitely reduce my chance of getting any cards next year.

My nihilism needs no more encouraging. I am already nearly dead inside.

*POW!* Life affirming childish glee edit.

Nihilism & Cynicism 0 - Saint Valentine 3

Away win.

This was prompted by Jez (the mystery interweb.net person who posts pleasant things here) in this comment here.

According to some shite I dredged off of the interweb.net Virgos are approximately one hundred times better than any other star sign apart from maybe Leo who I’m reliably informed could have us in a fight. Cheers dad.

Seriously though, well, in as much as you can be serious about astrology and reading omens and portents. Here’s what I have found.

Bog standard Virgo template

Modest and shy
Meticulous and reliable
Practical and diligent
Intelligent and analytical

I am not sure how well I fit any of those but we’ll carry on.

Optional extras

Fussy and a worrier
Overcritical and harsh
Perfectionist and conservative

So far as I can tell they’ve scored a hit with about 50% of that lot I invite you to guess which. Points are not going to be awarded for stating the obvious ‘overcritical and harsh’ we all know that already.

So, my sign. What about it?

Virgo is the only zodiacal sign represented by a female. It is sometimes thought of as a potentially creative girl, delicately lovely; sometimes as a somewhat older woman, intelligent but rather pedantic and spinsterish. The latter impression is sometimes confirmed by the Virgoan preciseness, refinement, fastidious love of cleanliness, hygiene and good order, conventionality and aristocratic attitude of reserve. They are usually observant, shrewd, critically inclined, judicious, patient, practical supporters of the status quo, and tend toward conservatism in all departments of life. On the surface they are emotionally cold, and sometimes this goes deeper, for their habit of suppressing their natural kindness may in the end cause it to atrophy, with the result that they shrink from committing themselves to friendship, make few relationships, and those they do make they are careful to keep superficial.

But the outward lack of feeling may, in some individuals born under this sign, conceal too much emotion, to which they are afraid of giving way because they do not trust others, nor do they have confidence in themselves and their judgments. This is because they are conscious of certain shortcomings in themselves of worldliness, of practicality, of sophistication and of outgoingness. So they bring the art of self concealment to a high pitch, hiding their apprehensiveness about themselves and their often considerable sympathy with other people under a mantle of matter-of-factness and undemonstrative, quiet reserve. They are still waters that run deep. Yet in their unassuming, outwardly cheerful and agreeable fashion, they can be sensible, discreet, well spoken, wise and witty, with a good understanding of other people’s problems which they can tackle with a practicality not always evident in their own personal relationships.

Oooo. I so want to be still waters that run deep. I mean bits and pieces of this fit together (because it’s vague and I can draw what I want from it) but surely there’s more to me?

Both sexes have considerable charm and dignity, which make some male Virgoans appear effeminate when they are not. In marriage they can be genuinely affectionate, making good spouses and parents, but their love making is a perfection of technique rather than the expression of desire, and they must be careful not to mate with a partner whose sex drive requires a passion they cannot match.

My life has a theme it seems. I’m not sure I like how this makes Virgos out to be effeminate people who mate like robots. I am not a girly machine!

They are intellectually enquiring, methodical and logical, studious and teachable. They combine mental ingenuity with the ability to produce a clear analysis of the most complicated problems. They have an excellent eye for detail but they may be so meticulous that they neglect larger issues. Also, although they are realists, they may slow down projects by being too exact. They are practical with their hands, good technicians and have genuine inventive talents, Thoroughness, hard work and conscientiousness are their hallmarks, and they are such perfectionists that, if things go wrong, they are easily discouraged. Because of their ability to see every angle of a many-sided question, they are unhappy with abstract theorizing. Appreciating the many different points of view as they do, they find philosophical concepts difficult, and they vacillate and have no confidence in any conclusions at which they arrive.

With these qualities, they are better as subordinates than leaders. Responsibility irks them and they often lack the breadth of strategic vision that a leader needs Virgoans are essentially tacticians, admirable in the attainment of limited objectives. Their self distrust is something they project on to other people and tends to make them exacting employers, though in the demands they make on those under them they temper this attitude with justice. They have potential abilities in the arts, sciences and languages. Language especially they use correctly, clearly, consciously and formally, as grammarians and etymologists rather than for literary interests, yet they are likely to have a good memory for apt quotations. Although they are well suited for careers in machine drawing, surveying and similar occupations, they are better fitted for a job in a library or office than a workshop.

OCD + love of language = the internet speaks only the truth.

Their faults, as is usual with all zodiacal types, are the extremes of their virtues. Fastidious reticence and modesty become old-maidishness and persnicketiness; balanced criticism becomes carping and nagging; and concern for detail becomes overspecialization. Virgoans are liable to indecision in wider issues and this can become chronic, turning molehills of minor difficulties into Himalayas of crisis. Their prudence can become guile and their carefulness, turned in on themselves, can produce worriers and hypochondriacs.

So basically, according to my star sign, I’m an introverted, repressed, paranoid, effeminate, obsessive, misanthropist that doesn’t really like people, makes love like it’s a chore and would rather be in bed with a good book and a puzzle?

Not too far off to be honest. What say you people of the interweb.net?