nunoncastors

There are downsides to being a little depressed; I imagine you can speculate as to what they are, but there are upsides too. I know, incongruous isn’t it? Anyway, one of these upsides, depending on your school of thought, is not really caring that much about anything.

Let me explain.

Usually when making decisions you factor in all those niggly little details, the reasons for and against a particular course of action; you’re concerned about repercussions, costs, the judgement of your peers. It’s a massive hindrance to actually getting anything done.

When you don’t really care, none of that applies, at least not much. Consequently, whatever stark realities you’re faced with can be dealt with out of hand. I’m not sure if this is apathy, it doesn’t feel like it, or selfishness, which it may be, but I’ve managed to get more done in the last week than in the previous month. And that’s good.

What is less pleasing is that some people don’t approve of this approach; or rather they’re surprised when you stop being accommodating all of a sudden and politely advise them that you aren’t their friend as and when it suits them, and no, you won’t be obliging them on this particular occasion. They can do it themselves.

Obviously you have to tread the fine line of paranoia carefully, imagined slights are often the most cutting, but it’s interesting to see just how far you can be taken for granted, and just how much people assume, when you tend to be reasonable and considerate. I just think it’s a shame that it takes a darker cast to my thinking before I notice these things.

More cheerful service will be resumed tomorrow, when I invite you to do all sorts of stuff. Yay.