nunoncastors

I’m sorry if I’ve already gone on about this, but I’m so infused with rage that I’ve lost all perspective. The fact that anyone could do this to another person leaves me so brimming with fury and bile that I’m inclined to dispense a swift and terrible retribution at the end of a claw hammer.

I know, now and again, that it is commented upon by friends and colleagues that I’m a monstrous cynic as though they cannot understand why. This sort of thing is why, this and a million other little needles that jab at me daily. We live in a society where pissing on a dying woman is someone’s idea of a laugh, where people can go their entire lives as nothing more than a burden, constantly sucking in time and effort and resources like some vast whirlpool of indolence. Are there wonderful things in the world that make life worth living? Undoubtedly, yes. But they’re so overshadowed by shit that for me, finding them unspoiled is an unexpected joy.

To paraphrase Terry Pratchett (I know, what a reference), “I fear I may be a bad person because I know what I think rather than just what I say and do. I choke off those little reactions and impulses, but I know what they are. So I try to act like a good person.”

I really do. I try to be even-handed and polite, I try to abide by the rules and mind my own business and, most of all, I try to leave people to do their own thing because everyone is entitled to live their lives as they see fit. I may grumble about it, but I try.

The problem is that what I actually think is that the country is a fetid shithole full of people the world would be better off without. I’m aware that there are worse places on earth to be, and that’s part of the problem too. Because I know people are starving in Africa, because I know that child soldiers exist, and because I know that some people have endured horrors that are beyond my ability to imagine, I also know that in this country there is no reason for anyone to be pissing on the dying, throwing stones at fireman, assaulting nurses in hospitals or generally acting like complete and utter tossers.

I hate them for it.

Genuinely. Seethingly. Hate them for it.

I loathe how it’s possible for people to sponge off the state for their entire lives and never give anything back, to sit in their slum with Sky TV blaring out the latest drivel and think that the rest of the country owes them an existence. I hate the foul offspring of these people, who lurk about on parks and street corners, gibbering some faux-Jamaican patois and asking people what they’re looking at. I hate addicts and alcoholics and every other weak willed fuckwit who refuses to accept that their problem is of their own making and won’t do anything about it. I hate how society panders to the stupid and those who won’t help themselves, how CCTV monitors everything and political correctness is seeping into the very fabric of the nation.

Celebrate diversity? Fuck off. Everyone’s different; they’ve always been different, what’s to celebrate? It’s the status-bloody-quo. Of course what they mean is, ‘celebrate not being racist’ but they’re too namby-pamby to say it. Prisons are full, do we build more? No. We give paedophiles and murderers shorter sentences and career criminals day release. Brilliant. Role models have been replaced by footballers and ‘gangsta rappers’ who espouse a life of bitches and bling. We’re becoming a nation of slack-jawed, antisocial, apelike morons and the police, the people who are supposed to hold back the tide of shite, aren’t actually allowed to do anything without filling in a thousand forms and apologising for arresting the miscreant in question for infringing their human-bloody-rights.

People are apparently getting the highest grades ever in A-levels etc. Really? Where the hell are they? Most of the students I come into contact with couldn’t find their arse with both hands but can appropriate a pair of Ugg boots and forty gallons of hair gel without any apparent difficulty. The government however, can find it’s arse with both hands but then proceeds to think of a way of extracting more money out of the populace with this newfound discovery so it can feed it back to the feckless gobshites and their Sky TV in order to secure votes because, ultimately, the Government no longer reflects the wishes of the nation as the nation either a) doesn’t fucking trust it or b) is completely apathetic to whatever the self-serving fucks say.

I try to be a good person, I really do, but it’s so hard when what I really want is to start lining people up against a wall ready for the firing squad.

This prick first.