nunoncastors

I dislike the term “pc gone mad”, it’s the sort of phrase racists and bigots use to validate their need to hate people. Me, I don’t need validating, if I radiated equal opportunities and inclusiveness any harder I’d be shitting access ramps for black, gay, Jewish orphans with warning signs written in rainbows and sunshine for the whole world to join in and read together as one happy, non-denominational, non-judgemental, inoffensive family.

I’m all about treating people equally, I dislike everyone. It’s nothing personal; I just assume the worst until evidence to the contrary presents itself. I find it’s nicer to assume people are bastards and be pleasantly surprised, than to assume they’re lovely and be upset when they turn out not to be. I’m such a negative nancy like that.

Problems arise however, when this sort of bollocks takes place. I mean, for fuck’s sake, Fairytale of New York is pretty much synonymous with Christmas and yet for years people have managed not to shit their ring in outrage that it uses the word “faggot”. Suddenly however, it’s too offensive, it makes the baby Jesus cry or someone, somewhere writes a letter whining about how much of a fucking tit they are and it’s censored.

I despair, I really do. People’s sensibilities seem to be so delicate these days that it’s a wonder half of them can get out of bed for fear of being offended by the colour of the carpet. Do you know what else the song mentions? Bums, punks and old sluts on junk. That’s hardly fair to tramps, prostitutes or junkies is it? Better censor that too and, while we’re about it, REWRITE EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER BEEN WRITTEN OR RECORDED JUST IN CASE SOME FUCKING ARSEWIT GETS UPSET BY IT BECAUSE, SUDDENLY, WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE GETTING UPSET IS A FUCKING LIFESTYLE CHOICE AND NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TELL YOU TO GROW THE FUCK UP AND GET ON WITH IT IN CASE YOU CRY LIKE A FUCKING BABY.

God, it makes me so angry. Are we really a society of dickheads inventing new ways to get upset? Because it bloody looks like it.

Exhibit A:

Walking through Nottingham train station having listened to a story from Andy about an evening he spent with another young gentleman and a toothbrush they used in an imaginative and, I suspect, illegal way

“Andy, you have to be the gayest thing on the face of the earth. If they gave out badges for that sort of thing, yours would have Elton John’s face on it.”
“Well, I do try. Elton John’s face? You’re so fucking cliché.”
“Piss off, I could have said…”
Tosser: “I’m sorry, but that’s very offensive.”
Me: “What’s very offensive?”
Tosser: “Using the word gay like it’s an insult. I bet you never think about that do you?”
Andy: “Quick, call the police.”
Me: “No, I never do.”
Tosser: “I’ve had to put up with your sort of rubbish for years.”
Me: “Really? That’s lovely mate. Well, off you go then. Keep up the good work. Be brave.”
Tosser: “You think it’s funny?”
Me: “I think it’s fucking hilarious. Pissing myself, side splittingly, hilarious. Do you know why?”
Andy: “Oh! Oh! I know, I know. Is it because I’m gay and he should mind his own fucking business instead of making a twat of himself?”
Me: “Yeah, pretty much mate.”
Tosser: “Oh.”
Andy: “Oh indeed.”

It’s all about context people, get to grips with it.