nunoncastors

Curiously upbeat despite still being on this planet – not in a depressed “I wanna die” sense, I just figure there are better worlds out there, ethereal or not – and not having bajillions in the bank. Attempts to channel feelings of rage and anger into something productive a success so far, went swimming on Wednesday and, despite drawing the attention of some idiots, have completely failed to wish anyone an agonising death all week. Feeling… unusual.I should point out, I suppose, that this isn’t due to apathy on my part, I am still cognizant of those things that previously wound me up, it’s simply that something occurred to me during my annual New Year’s Eve reset. Anger and rage are, quite frankly, a poison you can live without. Not in a wishy-washy pacifist tree-hugging way, there are just better uses for your time.Take the government, for example, a complete and utter shower of bastards with about as much concern for your average person as I have for an ant. Actually, no, less than that because I’m careful not to step on ants or cause them distress if I can help it. It happens to be part of my “don’t kill it if you’re not going to eat it” policy.

I mean, it probably isn’t their fault that they don’t give a fuck about the rest of us, they just know what’s for the best, right? You know, things like wars, intrusive surveillance, draconian security measures, the erosion of traditional freedoms and all that kind of bollocks. That’s what’s good for the nation, my lad, not a police force that patrols the streets, a health service that treats everyone regardless of how much the fucking drugs cost or, heaven forefend, a government that doesn’t piss money away and pat itself on the back for doing so.

Now, I used to get seethingly angry about all that sort of thing, dangerously furious in fact, but no longer. Why? Well, it’s agonisingly simple. It’s because it occurred to me that there’s absolutely no reason to pay any attention to what the government is doing whatsoever. None. And this isn’t about ignorance either; it’s more akin to taking to humouring a simpering idiot and patting them on the head should they do well.

Resign yourself to the fact that your taxes are always going to be squandered and, indeed, always have been and you’re essentially free. Beyond that it really doesn’t matter.

Think about it, really think about it. There’s no reason to fear or respect the government or the police any more. Say you break the law by, I don’t know, holding up a placard in Parliament Square that reads “You self-serving bastards, cease breathing” and Plod takes an interest and fines you. Big deal, don’t pay it. Then they arrest you. So what? You’ll be admonished and sent home. Ooo, then they threaten you with jail time. Oh no! You’ll still be out quicker than it takes a paedophile given time off for good behaviour and re-housed next to a primary school to reoffend. Why? Because the prisons are full and they won’t build more.

Trust me; civil disobedience has really never been easier. Worried about CCTV? Fuck it; most of it is illegally installed and useless in court cases.

I’m such a rebel. But wait, what if you’re held without charge due to spurious terrorism fearmongering? Wait it out, get out, sue. Point out how fucking ridiculous it is. Job done.

This might seem like an extreme approach but, you know what, give it a try. Day-to-day I hurt no one, threaten no one, steal nothing, break nothing and generally go quietly about my business. Yet every day I break the law and transgress in at least a dozen ways. This isn’t simply because I have a massive anti-authoritarian streak either – though it is so wide you could drive ocean liners up and down it – no, it’s because, so far as I’m concerned, and as long as I’m not hurting anybody else, the rest of the world can get fucked and leave me the hell alone because frankly, any society that allows this sort of thing to happen isn’t even worthy of my scorn anymore. It’s barely worth my notice.

It makes me sick that anything even approaching such horror could happen in this country. Is this it; is this really the best we can do? Are we so governed by targets and cost cutting and vacuous, insipid platitudes that we leave a family to clean up the blood and gore of their own father’s murder while murders, rapists and fucking paedophiles are released early because our prisons are overcrowded? I’m no right-wing nut, but what the fuck?

Here’s another beauty. Pull people out of a bombed train, comfort them while they’re dying, do something unfailingly heroic in an effort to save your fellow man, nothing. Do your fucking desk job while elsewhere people are fighting for their lives, be a pop ‘star’, get your arse out or lumber about as a brain-dead, facile, footballer and get a medal. Be ‘honoured’.

So fuck it, I’m out. As great as my capacity for displeasure and hate is, there comes a point where it’s just too ridiculous, this is it.