nunoncastors

I’ve never been very good with emotions; it’s not simply something I say to appear dark and mysterious either, I mean I’m genuinely quite repressed and awkward. I can empathise with others perfectly well but I’ve never been too good with myself, it’s an unfortunate by-product of finding yourself a little bit scary.

Tonight however, I’m off to the hospital this evening to do something I never thought I’d need to do, something I don’t particularly want to do and yet, sadly, something I have to do because, put simply, it could well be the last chance I get. I’m going to go and see my dad and ask him how he is; I’m going to tell him that I love him and I’m going to wish him luck with his operation tomorrow because, alarmingly, there’s a very real chance that he could die.

I don’t think I can overstate just how terrifying I find that possibility, indeed it’s a possibility that I’ve been trying not to countenance. But I’m a pragmatist, and there it is.

Funny old world.

Oh, and here’s the source for today’s title.