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LEJOG

The Postman

Royal Mail, if we’re fair, has grown somewhat lazy and feckless in recent years. The loss of the second delivery was bad enough, but now it seems that any delivery is too much to ask for, at least in Netherfield.

The other weekend, our postman knocked on our door at 8:30-ish and I, [...]

Fuck-off, Nigel

I went to the cinema the other evening, paid my £7.50, and sat in my uncomfortable seat through the compulsory hour or so of adverts as they struggled, vainly, to convince me that what I really want, deep down, is to pay too much for things that I don’t need. You know, the usual ‘big [...]

Destroyer of worlds

I am the victim of a phenomenon; potentially a Gipsy Curse, for I find that the extent to which inanimate objects – indeed the world at large – conspire against me is dependant entirely upon my mood. It smacks of eldritch naughtiness, frankly.

Take my garden gate for example; the green [...]

EPIC

                                I honestly can’t tell you how much I love this little box.

Life at a distance

Emigration; it started as an idle threat, a childish act of dissonance to make my objections seem more profound and heartfelt; now it’s fast becoming an intention.

How did that happen?

Truth is, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m feeling increasingly trapped in this country and need to leave before I [...]