nunoncastors

A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone’s amazement, he sticks it in his mouth and somehow swallows it whole!

The bartender screams at the man, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”

“No, what?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table… whole!”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the man, “he eats everything in sight, sorry. I’ll pay for the cue ball and all the other stuff.”

The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, and leaves.

Two weeks later the same man is back in the bar again and, true to form, has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is having his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, again he sticks it up his arse, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey just did ?”

“No, what?” replied the man.

“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his arse, pulled them out, and ate them!”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the man. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball he measures everything first.”

B-dum TISH!

Apologies to everyone expecting something with a bit more substance, but that joke brightened my morning at work considerably ^_^