nunoncastors

Welcome to the world of memes, a place where unicorns frolic, porn proliferates, and cats want cheeseburgers. Here, the in-joke reigns supreme, here, knowing really is half the difference. Welcome to the internet.

Now, I’m not saying that the internet isn’t serious business – and I promise I’ll stop dropping references soon – but there is a gulf in understanding out here, and it’s one that I’m not about to attempt bridging. Suffice to say, for every person to crawl the series of tubes that comprise the internet and grasp hold, firmly, to the reality of it, for every one of us that understands the parallels between the real world and the online, there are those who simply don’t, can’t or won’t.

Thus, is a gulf formed in understanding. Some overcome this obstacle, seize hold of the opportunity and embrace the experience of dancing hamsters and forum trolls; they whittle away at the dark and try to create something noble, something worthy, I wish them well.

Sadly, many simply melt into the crowd, content to be a part of the great morass of mewling voices spouting neologisms and quoting Latin in the stead of reason*. A great grey army of nothing, treading and re-treading its own tracks forever, cosseted in the assertion of its own rectitude.

Yet others and others still. Some become dark and twisted; they slink away into the shadows and contemplate the abominable, organise the unforgivable – the bank manager and his hidden fetishes, the bus driver and his morbid fascinations; they’re all out there, everything you’ve ever imagined and everything you never have. But then you know this, you’re here already, you’ve seen.

Then there are the Luddites and outsiders, the uninitiated who don’t care for the internet, who have no use for it despite the nature of its ubiquity. There is no harm in this of course, different strokes for different folks, that they neither understand it nor care to understand is entirely their own business. After all, there’s no shame in being ignorant of 2 girls and 1 cup, God knows I wish I were.

And finally there are those who pretend, who claim know the nature of the beast and shriek for our protection, demand that we should be shielded from it, that it should be locked away. These are the book-burners of latter years, those who seek to protect you from yourself; the ignorant, the petty and the stupid. Let them judge for you because you cannot be trusted, listen as they declaim their virtues in place of your own, follow because they lead. Nowhere is the gulf wider than here.

Want an example?

Opra Winfrey wants to save your children from paedophiles, a truly noble endeavour. She wants you to be aware of what’s out there, equip your for the horrors that lurk in the dark. However, she overlooked over 9000 opportunities to do some research, which rather hobbles your chances. Still, don’t forget to be afraid of what you don’t understand and do as you’re told, I just hope she enjoys her Roman Holiday.

The glee resultant in seeing such a recognisable face take a tumble over a fairly basic troll has been considerable. Out here, nothing is sacred.

Of course the question is, was that whole post just an excuse to post to nonsensical videos, or do I really mean it? ^_^

*Like Me, for example.