nunoncastors

People often wonder just why it is that I harbour so much animosity towards my fellow man, why the wellspring of my cynicism never runs dry, and where much of the naive liberalism of my youth went to.

I shall explain.

Once upon a time, I held to the belief that no one is beyond redemption, that deep down we’re all innately good and caring, and that above all we validate our own existence as human beings by being, well, humane. Then, regrettably, I emerged from the quiet confines of my home village and engaged with the wider world, a world where I was horrified to discover that some people are simply a waste of meat and blood and bone.

Initially I was forgiving, I conceded that I’ve been lucky to have parents that love me and, despite their divorce, have had the opportunity to be my own person, to learn, develop, and set my own boundaries within a reasonably comfortable setting. It hasn’t been all roses, but it has been infinitely more bearable than an abusive father and alcoholic mother which, unfortunately, is what some people have to cope with.

However, this forgiveness has, over the last decade, largely evaporated and coalesced into the belief that with the best will in the world, some people have absolutely no value whatsoever.

Now, that sounds somewhat… dangerous, as a means of reasoning, but bear with me, I’m not espousing some horrific genocidal future, simply setting out my thoughts. You see, I’ve worked for everything that I have, everything – I imagine you have too – and I’m sick to the eye-teeth of feckless shits ruining what would otherwise be a blemish free existence for me. As much as it runs contrary to my general belief that everyone’s entitled to life, I genuinely wouldn’t mind it if some had theirs snuffed out by the hand of fate, or maybe just a bus. I’m not picky.

For example, I went out at the weekend; I had sushi with friends, a few beers and a generally lovely time. When I woke up on Sunday morning to find that some arsewit had walked the length of my street kicking the wing mirrors clean off all the cars, mine included, it kind of took the shine off things. The idea that someone’s weekend culminated in destruction for destruction’s sake, something they doubtless found hilarious, infuriates me. The near certainty that, considering the area I’m living in, they don’t have a job, spend their days watching TV, and are to all intents and purposes, a leech, fills me with rage. Not only am I probably supporting their fucking lifestyle already, I now have to shell-out money to fix my car. In effect, I’m paying for this twat twice.

I used to accept that these people were simply different, less fortunate perhaps, but that all they needed was a bit of help to sort their shit out. Now I hope that they die out. It makes me feel wretched to admit it, but I genuinely cannot see any point in their continued existence, I don’t know what they’re for beyond taking up space. They sit on their collective arses, content to be carried like some sportswear clad albatross about our necks, forever taking, helping no one, suckling like some obscene vampire at the nation’s veins, and it enrages me. The very suspicion that they feel not the slightest pang of remorse, that they think we owe it to them, makes me think dreadful things.

What’s worse, what truly grates more than anything else, is that I now believe that there is genuinely nothing redeeming about these people, no glimmer of hope that they might be something more than they are, because that would require effort, and education, and a fucking job. Suggest that maybe they’d like to crawl from their pits and do something useful with their empty lives and you might as well begin talking in riddles for all the enthusiasm you’ll engender. Suggest that maybe they’d like to get shit-faced on cheap booze at someone else’s expense, stab each other, join a gang, and damage property for the sake of it, well, you might as well be feeding pigs cherries.

It is horrible to know that one of your ideals has been destroyed, and I hope you’ll excuse the rant, but fuck me am I angry that these guttersnipe bastards exist only to make the world a little more shit for the rest of us.