nunoncastors

I’ve stated my conviction that there are more people in my head than just me on a few occasions now. Curiously, the whole concept is no longer a concern, not really, nor is it a particularly serious statement of worry; I think I may just be obsessed with the way consciousness works and the division between the conscious and subconscious mind. What with everyone’s mind working in different ways, I think it’s possible that I’m not actually unbalanced in any real sense; it’s just the case that mine works somewhat more differently than most. A part of me feels that that’s the worst sort of egotism, the idea that I’m in some way different or *ahem* ‘special’, but what’s a man to do?

Anyway, at best my concerns aren’t actually separate entities; they’re just various iterations of myself possessed, as it were, of a greater degree of independence than could reasonably be expected. I don’t know if anyone else has songs running through their head all day, or listens to stories told by yourself to yourself – only not quite – but I do, and it can be a little odd at times. Often there’s the sensation that it isn’t just me looking out on the world and there’s some sort of internal discussion going that I’m not privy to until a decision’s been reached.

That doesn’t make any sense does it? No, thought not. Still, this rambling nonsense has been prompted by the recent feeling that something isn’t quite right, y’know? Not with me, but a general sense of foreboding and the occasional flicker of memories that I’m not convinced belong in my head. There’s been an irritating monologue too, mumbling along and intermittently and drowning out the usual songs and stories, I think I object to that more.

Obviously, this is the most ridiculous delusional toss, but it does set me wondering about the intricacies of the human psyche and what other’s have to put up with, surely not everyone’s like this?