I cycle, yes? I do it quite a lot. It is, I suppose, my hobby. I pursue this hobby on a relatively inexpensive bike, with a few extras of intermediate cost, and I cover around 100 miles a week. It is not all-consuming, but it is fun and I do enjoy myself.
Why, then, have I just seen the fattest man in the universe, someone who clearly doesn’t cycle any further than the fudge factory, trundle past me on a bike worth just under £4,000? It is a cycle I would literally kill for, and here he is grinding the gears and riding it into kerbs as though it were nothing.
Obviously I’m jealous, but what the fuck world, what are you playing at?
