nunoncastors

Just in case you live in a cave and have managed to avoid the cavalcade of shite screeching at you to buy, buy, BUY! IT’S CHRISTMAS SOON, YOU MUST BUY THINGS! IT’S NEARLY HERE, HAVE YOU SPENT ENOUGH MONEY YET? ONLY A FEW WEEKS TO GO, YOU’D BETTER START BUYING THINGS. LOTS OF THINGS! BUY, COUNSUME, GORGE, SPEND. DO IT, IT’S CHRISTMAS! IT’S CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! BUY! BUY! BUY! SPEND! SPEND! SPEND! I thought I’d take a few moments to remind you.

Not because I give a shit about any of that consumerist bollocks or some chap being nailed to a tree for suggesting people try to be nice to each other, no. It’s because I have plans and we’ll get to those in a moment.

First though, I need to explain my stance on the holiday season. I don’t like it; I find it sordid and depressing. People get whipped up into a frenzy about a religious festival that no one believes in because we’re a largely secular society now – Christ knows I’m secular anyway – Companies demand we show our love for people by spending money, the church would like us to pray and think about Jesus and a fair few people will kill themselves because they’re lonely and don’t have anyone to spend “the happiest time of year” with. It’s all so much bollocks.

In order to mitigate that however, I will say that I like all the decorations, because they’re pretty, and I love the social aspect. Not the presents and exchanging of gifts (though they’re nice, it really wouldn’t kill me not to get any) but the spending time with your friends and family, the parties and general catching up with people you might not have seen for a while. That is worth all the tea in China.

Ok, so maybe it isn’t entirely bollocks, but there is an awful lot about the season that is empty and meaningless and I have difficulty dealing with it.

Bah Humbug you say?

Fine, but look at it like this, I’m not a Christian, I don’t go to church, I don’t believe in God or Jesus and if I did have to believe in a God, it’d be one of the old school, seduces-women-in-the-form-of-a-vase, type-Gods. I certainly can’t abide consumerism and the way meaning is sublimated into spending at every fucking opportunity. Can you say any better? Personally, I doubt it.

So what, exactly, are you celebrating when you think about it? Me, I’m celebrating the opportunity to spend time with the people I care about, to see them happy and healthy and having fun. Do I really need to wear a pair of fake antlers for that?

That’s enough vitriol I think, now for plans.

Christmas

Guys – I know you read this - same plan as last year, family stuff and all that but a few swift pints in the Three Crowns at Ruddington around lunchtime. I figure we’ll all be back in the village to see our folks, so why not?

I’m off to a soiree on the 22nd courtesy of Miss Sutherland but otherwise I’m free for fun and games. Don’t turn me into one of those people at the end of a rope because they haven’t got anyone.

New Year’s Eve

Usually we manage to have an amazing New Year, whether we’re all dressed up and dancing on tables like twenties mobsters or playing air guitar to Michael Jackson’s Beat It on our knees in the Malt Cross, it’s always good fun. Sometimes people suck and go home early, but not often.

This year it looks like we’re making our way down to the Orange Tree for drinks, dancing and so on and so forth. Tickets are £10; shout out if you’re interested.

Details can be found here and here or, if you’re adventurous, you can view my Special New Year’s Eve Party page. Woo and yay for that.